Endings and Beginnings

One thing ends and another begins. That is the way of it. Put your stuff in plastic boxes, finish what you can, take a deep breath, walk out the door, do not look back. I think that is what you are supposed to do.

The weeks of rising stress, desperate efforts to clear my in-box and to resist the temptations of one further initiative or final sally on some issue that I feel strongly about, is my response. I did receive better advice … ‘take time with people to say goodbye’ … ‘let your team know that you have confidence in them’ … ‘relax and enjoy what you have achieved’. Vain hopes from colleagues who mean well, it is nice that they still think I have it in me. Excellent suggestions for somebody else.

Still the stuff did go in the plastic boxes, the door opened and closed again, and here I am at the cusp of something new. Not looking back is impossible, after all, I have committed to the mission, learnt so much and made friendships. It is quite possible to feel loss at an ending and simultaneously excitement and anticipation at a beginning.

Now I am sitting in a beautiful cottage garden, the weather is idyllic, and I am experiencing a rare moment of contemplation, precisely at the balance point between that ending and the beginning. The future is largely uncertain, but certainly more learning, certainly more decisions, a shape to be given to ambitions, a complex and contested environment. My sort of thing, bring it on.