10 Essential Yiddish Words for Computer Scientists

There are certain things that you can only say in certain languages. Famously schadenfreude and gemütlichkeit are concepts only adequately expressed  in German. It is for this reason I offer to you 10 Yiddish words of practical use to computer scientists. These are words which have, how shall I put it, emotional validity.  Frankly, I don't quite understand how you have managed without them, but then you have managed without fish balls, latkes, chrain and a whole lot else, so it must be possible.

'Oy!' The definitive Yiddish expression. A mixture of distress, astonishment, resignation and several other inexpressible sentiments. Usage - Tom: "the client has a legacy program that consists of 250,000 lines of Smalltalk-80" You: "Oy!". 

'Nu?' Roughly translated: So? So what? And I should care, why? Usage - Tom: "the client has a legacy program that consists of 250,000 lines of Smalltalk-80" You: "Nu?". 

'Meshugenah' Mad, crazy, bonkers person. Not in a good way. Usage - Tom: "the client wants you to rewrite it in Visual Basic" You: "we are working for that meshugenah?" (Variant: "that is meshugah (mad)", you may also respond "Oy!" or perhaps even "Nu?") 

'Schlep'. To make a long, tiresome and inconvenient journey. Usage - Tom: "the head office of the client is on an industrial estate just outside Hartlepool, you will be required to visit regularly for the duration of the project" You: "I have to schlep to Hartlepool?" (Note: the journey from London to Hartlepool is a schlep, the journey from Hartlepool to London is a trip; Variant: you may also respond "Oy!"  or perhaps even "Nu?") 

'Schmendrick'. Fool, know-nothing, usually ineffectual. Usage - Tom: "Ron said that doing it in Visual Basic would not be a problem" You: "you asked that schmendrick for his opinion?" (Variant: you may also respond "Oy!") 

'Chutzpah'. Bare-faced cheek. Tom: "the client has a cousin who has programmed in Visual Basic, he has asked you to take him on as a project adviser" You: "Chutzpah!" (Note: Do not use this word if you cannot pronounce it. Otherwise you risk looking like, well, a schmendrick. It starts with a Chet not a Hey, not ch as in church but ch as in synagogue. Variant: you may also respond "Oy!" or perhaps even "Nu?"). 

'Nebich'. Pathetic, sad, deserving of pity.  Usage - Tom: "I asked Ron to go to Hartlepool and, based there, port the Smalltalk-80 to a new platform". You: "Ron is a nebich". (Note: it is possible here that Ron is, in fact, a schlemazel, that is a perpetual victim of ill fortune. Variant: you may also respond "Oy!" or perhaps even "Nu?"). 

Eitzes. Unsolicited advice. Usage - Tom: "The client's cousin says we should use UML." You: "This sort of eitzes I do not need". (Variant: you may also respond "Oy!", I do not think "Nu?" is appropriate here).  

'Tsores'. Troubles, irritations, annoyances, grief. Usage - Tom: "UML seems like a good idea". You: "This tsores I need like a hole in the head (you could say 'loch im kopf')" (Variant: you may also respond "Oy!", I do not think "Nu?" is appropriate here). 

'Naches'. Pride in an achievement, usually of your children. Usage - Tom: "My daughter just graduated in computer science from UCL." You: "Such naches" (Note: if they say "My son just graduated in computer science from Imperial College"you would usually respond "Oy!" or perhaps even "Nu?").

I trust this is helpful. This is obviously a very basic vocabulary. In a further advanced class we will cover such words as 'farpotshket', meaning broken because someone tried to fix it, and 'gantze megillah', meaning, well, you don't want the want the whole megillah.